MY (PICTURE) TAKE ON LIFE....

Adventures, Stories, and of course... PICTURES!!!

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Nooooo... he can't be sick!!!

I forgot to mention that Sam ate Purell yesterday... he actually cried because it tasted so bad! I gave him a few bites of bread (to absorb the alcohol!?), and he didn't stagger around, so I assumed he was OK!!!

Today was actually our best day yet... Sam still woke up early, but I had Sam dressed, Jake bathed and dressed, and myself showered and ready for the day all before 9:00... AM!!! Sam woke up with a runny nose, though, and by the afternoon he was running a fever! I called Mama and Daddy, and between them and me and BJ, we decided to ere on the side of caution and send Sam to the lake. I hated to do that, A- because I like having the little guy around; B- because I hated to ask Mama and Daddy to drop everything to come get him... again; and C- because he was sick and 'needed his mommy.' That part, however, isn't really true, because when Pop Pop put him in his car seat in my car (just so he could unstrap it), Sam stuck that little lip out and started tearing up. When Pop Pop started putting it in their car, Sam was running all over him trying to climb up in the truck to get in and go!!!! Yeah... needed Mommy!!!! I really hope that it is just teething and not really a cold... only time will tell! He's getting extra TLC and medicine, though!!!!!

Yet another blond mommy moment when I met Mama and Daddy... Sam was playing with the buttons in the front seat while Mama sat in the back and fed Jake. Daddy and I WERE up front with Sam!!! We got out to say our good-byes, leaving Jake and Stormie in my truck. The doors were closed, and I went to get in...ummmmm... it's locked!!!! We tried all the doors - all locked!!! So Jake is screaming (because he's not moving - he must be moving at all times while in the car, which is why I drive over every bump and pump my brakes at lights), and Stormie's barking and whining... she just wants out with us - "don't lock me in with the baby!!!!" It was a freaky moment, not going to lie! Now is a good time to mention that we just traded my Tahoe for a Suburban last weekend - we needed the room!!!!!! =) Lucky thing, because we have OnStar for a year!!!!! My purse, phone, OnStar number........ all locked in the car!!!!! Mama, luckily, had the number in her cell phone, so I was able to call OnStar and have them unlock the car! That was actually really cool - I might start calling them more often about stuff!!!!!! Jake and Stormie fared just fine for those couple of minutes they were locked inside the car!!!! And, as an option on the OnStar menu, it said, "Press 1 if your child or pet is locked inside your vehicle." Apparently this is a regular occurrence!!!!!??????

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

We made it!

Well, we survived our first day just me and the boys... all I can say is that we're all alive and and still in one piece!

Let's see... Sam broke the trash can helping mommy throw away Jake's stinky diapers (it's one of those 'nice' ones from Target that costs more than the typical $20 ones - of course - he probably wouldn't have broken a cheap one!); Stormie puked four times at the bottom of the stairs - still working on those red stains on the carpet; and it took over an hour to get Sam to go down for a nap - thank God Jake was sleeping through that - it wasn't until he was jumping back on the bed and hit his lip that he finally settled down and I rocked him to semi-sleep!!!

The nap was actually funny - once he was asleep! He would run to the door and open it, yell "Mommy nite-nite" slam the door and run jump into his bed! I would go up there and stand at the door so that when he opened it I was standing there - he would crack the door, see me, slam the door and run jump into bed... ahhhh... if only it were a real game!!!!! You see where the busted lip came from now?

When BJ (finally) got home, Sam ran to the door yelling "BJ's home" over and over... hysterical, because BJ is adamant that he call him Daddy... rightfully so, but I can't help laughing!!! BJ took over once he was home - gave Sam his bath, put him to bed, fed Jake and fixed the trash can.

Today has been much of the same so far (although today started at 6 AM with Sam) - but, we're alive! Sam finally went down for his nap an hour and a half after we started. The same scenario, except I added a couple of spankings that DID NOT EVEN PHASE HIM. He would jump back on the bed saying, "spanking?" Yikes! This time, Jake was crying too... I finally put him in the Baby Bjourn and we all went and held Sam down on the bed! It made Sam cry, which finally caused him to go to sleep. I hate that he has to cry to finally sleep, although it's more of a tired cry than an I'm hurt cry!

He woke up in a worse mood than he went down with! I was starting to feed Jake when Sam woke up one hour after he went to sleep (usually, he sleeps for at least two hours). No chance of him going back to sleep... he was screaming and crying when I went up there with Jake. That just made him madder! I finally had to lay Jake down to get Sam calmed down! Turns out, he was insanely jealous right then!? Wow! This is going to be tricky! After a lot of tears from Jake, Sam and myself, I picked Jake back up, put Sam in my lap and put Jake in Sam's lap and we fed Jake together. Whew... that one was tough!!!!

On a brighter note... Cute Sam story... You can ask Sam how to spell his name, and he says, "S........A-M" It's the cutest thing, especially in his sweet little voice!!!! He really is a smart kid! He says things in sentences now... and he listens and understands everything you say... if we could just get him to OBEY what we say, we would be in business!!!!!!

I love Motherhood, though, is the crazy part! HOWEVER, there will not be any more kids! Mark my words!!! If there is, we'll have to name them "Oops" that's for sure!!! ;) My mom put it best, "You couldn't pay me a million dollars for either of mine, but I wouldn't take a nickel for another one!" (or something like that =)

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Just Tired...

You know how, when you were in high school you thought it was so hard? Then, you went to college only to realize just how easy you had it in high school, and that was so hard? THEN, you went out into the real world, got a real job, and looked back at college and realized how easy that was?

Well, that's how it is with kids too!!! When I had Sam, I thought it was so hard, we got no sleep, and it took all I had to take care of him. Now, with Jake, I realize just how easy one kid actually was! Two is so much harder (could be because the oldest is only 19 months old and is EXTREMELY active and BUSY), and we're just twice as sleep-deprived!!!! Still wouldn't trade it for the world. We're so blessed and thankful to have two healthy (although sometimes screaming) boys!!!

I'm still tired...


Here are some more pictures...

My new look for the next 6 months... not the pants (in public, anyway), but the baby!I'm feeding Jake, Sam is hugging on me, and Stormie, if you can see her, is at my feet whining! Oh! Boy! Are my hands full!!!BJ was working on hanging these last planes in Sam's room... we told him to just look, but don't touch... so, he squatted down to watch BJ work on them! Speaking of BJ, Sam has decided to not call him Daddy, but to call him BJ of late! It's so funny! He woke up from his nap calling for "BJ!" Heeheehee! I had nothing to do with that, I promise!Still looking, but not touching...Yeah, right... he's 19 months old - we all know that doesn't last for long!!! He just couldn't resist! He LOVES airplanes!!!And there's football ("hotball") or something equally interesting on TV!Ahhh... the quiet one!!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!
Still looks quiet, huh?Jake gets a bath every morning - to keep his scars clean... yes, my hair is wet - no time to dry it, just excited to get a shower!Here is Jake... you can barely even see his scar now!
Here is the scar just two weeks ago (the week after we got him home -
three weeks after surgery). Man, you can tell he's gained some weight!!!!

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

So much to be Thankful for...

Well, I had Sam and Jake on my own Monday morning, and I'm just now recovered enough to write about it!!!!!

Jake woke up at 4:30 AM to eat... BJ got on up to get ready and go to work, so I fed Jake and pumped. Jake was not wanting to go back to sleep, but wasn't crying at least. I had planned so perfectly how I would go back to sleep for a few minutes and get up at 6 to shower and get ready before the kids woke up........ HA!

Sam woke up at 5:30 AM whining at his door, so I went in there (BJ is gone by now, and I stopped pumping to go take care of Sam) to check on him. His paci (pie) had fallen on the floor, so I found it and gave it back to him. I thought that this would do the trick and put him in bed and started walking out... NO, that didn't work! I laid down with him for a moment and tried to get back up - by this time Jake is screaming bloody murder in my room (and Stormie was hiding under the bed). Each time I tried to get up from Sam, he cried and followed me to the door. I tried to be firm and tell him to stay in bed, I tried being sweet and telling him - nothing. OK, by this time Jake had cried himself to sleep - I know this because one time I ran from Sam's bed, hurdled the gate and ran to my room... trying to get Sam to go onto sleep on his own and also checking on Jake. Nope, didn't work! I finally gave in and laid with Sam for over 30 minutes. Sam eventually just got up, went to his night light and said, "Airplane light off" and then brought me his paci (his ritual when he gets up is to leave his paci because we don't use it except to sleep). I knew then that we were up for the day...

Well, for the first time, I showered while Sam played in the bathroom! He was very good actually! He was in a good mood at least! Getting Jake bathed, Sam fed, me dressed, bags packed, etc was an ordeal! By the time I left at 9 AM, my day was 'half over' it felt like!!!! And it was just beginning!!!! We went to Cathy's so that Sam and Kaden could play together - Jake slept once we got into the car and the entire time we were at Cathy's. I realized once I got there that I had packed Jake's bottles and my pump stuff, but had not packed anything for Sam - no water, snack OR lunch (I knew we were meeting Daddy and Sam would need to eat before he left with Pop Pop!). Cathy had compassion on the poor child (and mother) and fixed Sam a lunch to take with us - SO helpful and sweet! When we left there, I drove Sam to the airport to meed Daddy so that he could get Sam and fly him back to their house for the rest of the week. The whole way there, Sam was saying, "Pop Pop, fly, plane, water, hanger, fly, water, Pop Pop,..." you get the picture! Daddy got him a water at the airport, and the poor baby drank half of it!!!!! I have to get my brain in gear for two kids... scary!!!

Sam and Daddy took off, and Jake and I went home, where Jake decided he didn't need to sleep for the rest of the day! BJ got home, and Jake was still screaming - I gladly handed him over and sat down... what a day!!!!

Tomorrow, we're headed to the lake for Thanksgiving. Sam is going to come home with us... then, we're on our own! BJ's not sure if he's going to work or not on Friday - I REALLY hope not!!!! BUT, regardless, I'm on my own at least starting Monday!!!! Pray for me! I think I'll need it! I keep telling myself that plenty of people have done this, and they seem sane and normal and put together, so SURELY I can do this!!!!?????

Happy Thanksgiving --- we sure do have A LOT to be thankful for this year... even more than usual!!!!

Sunday, November 18, 2007

We made it!

Sam made it!!! His first night in his big boy bed! He only woke up twice (that I know of, anyway)... Jake was a little fussy at Sam's bedtime, so I worked on Sam while BJ worked on Jake - after a little while, we decided that Jake needed to eat (yet again), so we switched kids... BJ laid down with Sam until he fell asleep - we have to do that right now for naps too - he gets up and runs to the door and cries if we don't!
Once Sam went down, we got Jake satisfied (but not asleep) and finished watching the Clemson game... so sad that they lost it all right there at the end. =( We fed Jake some more (Bessie's TRYING to keep up!), and went onto bed ourselves around midnight. Jake SLEPT for four whole hours - how nice that would have been to sleep with him for that long!!!!! Sam woke up twice in those four hours!
The first time, I was awakened by Sam screaming and crying. I ran over to his room, opened the door - and no Sam! In my half-asleep state of mind, I freaked out and hollered for him! (BJ never woke up through all of this - and the monitor was still by the bed!) I heard him crying and screaming and realized that he was in fact still in his room (duh, because I had climbed over the baby gate to get into the room in the first place=). I ran to the other side of the bed... still no Sam - he's still crying, though! I bend down and look under the bed, and there he is - freaked out because he is 'stuck'!!!!! How he got there? I have no idea! How did I not hear him getting there? Again, no idea! Why didn't he freak out as he was getting down there? Don't know - all I can guess is that he crawled under there while asleep... then woke up and freaked out! Bless his little heart! I felt so bad for him! I laid in bed with him until he went back to sleep.
The second time, I heard his door open (again, baby gate in doorway - he's not coming out). I ran in there again. He was a little whiny, and was wanting to "git up." I told him it was still 'night-night time' and he ran back to his bed and laid down... YES - I started leaving... and he started crying again... SO, I laid with him until he went back to sleep.
As he was about asleep that last time, I heard Jake cry - then he stopped. I laid with Sam a little longer, then went back into my room when I heard Jake again... to help BJ. Ummmm... BJ was STILL asleep!!!!!???? I wish I could sleep that hard - but, then, the house might burn down around us!!!!! We fed Jake and went back to sleep for our own short nap of 1 1/2 hours!!!!!
Now, don't get me wrong... BJ is super-dad, and helps SO MUCH with the kids! He feeds Jake all night while I pump, and he is always playing and helping with Sam... he just sleeps hard and requires to be woken up - which I do everytime!!!!! =)
Here's Sam the morning after his first night in his big boy bed... he looks like he slept just fine!!!! He actually slept until 7:30, which is the latest he has slept since the time change! AND, he called for MOMMY when he woke up!!!! Not Pop Pop!!!! WOW!!!!!

He can turn his own mobile on... it has stars that light up at night and looks so cool on his "are-plane" ceiling!!!

Saturday, November 17, 2007

Picture Time

First things first...

I put Sam to bed tonight - in his big boy bed, and I started crying while I was singing to him... he has grown up in these last few weeks, and I feel like I missed it! He's such a big boy now! My baby is growing up! He did good napping (2 1/2 hrs), and he did fine going to bed. I put a night light in there, and it just takes a little extra TLC to get him to sleep right now. I have a feeling he'll adjust just fine!

Here's some new pictures:


Jake appears to always be sleeping, but that is only because, when he's awake, I'm having to do something with him and can't take a picture!!!!!
Bathtime - this one shows just how small he is... Sam put on BJ's shoes... then tried to walk in them - didn't get very far, but it was really cute!Then he put on BJ's hat - ready for the "hotball" game!

Go Tigers!

The family of four...

Day of Firsts...

It is never dull around here - and now we add an infant to the mix!

Let me start with yesterday, though... we went to the cardiologist - Jake got a great report. Anything 'different' about him and his heart is completely 'normal' and expected. Being there, brought us back to reality that Jake is 'different' and still needs extra love, attention and care. It also brought back memories of the dreadful day that Dr. Samai broke the news to us that Jake had a heart defect and would require surgery. After they did the echo of his heart, we went to a room to wait for the doctor to come talk to us... it was scary - we were nervous about what he would have to say - a little gun-shy, I suppose! He'll never be an Olympic athlete, but he can play sports (football probably wouldn't be the wisest sport), and play with the kids and will be able to keep up just fine. He'll be his own gauge insofar as his limitations... that's a wonderful relief too! God is good and is taking care of our little guy - and us!!!

When we left the cardiologist, BJ, Sam, Jake and I were in the car together - that was a first... and it was very fulfilling having all of us together like that! I sat in the middle of the boys - think that will be the case for quite awhile... some one's going to have to protect Jake! I had to pump - the car has become an 'easy' place to pump... multi-tasking!!!! I've still only driven and pumped once, though! Jake slept the whole way, thank the Lord, because Sam was a hoot... he was naming every car that BJ called out, he was telling us about "Jean (Jen) Dawgs" when he saw UGA flags on a car (Aunt Jen has brainwashed the child about "Dawgs" - so we taught him "Jean Dawgs LOSE" - heeheehee)! Sam was pulling my pump bag, grabbing at my milk, taking his shoes and socks off, then wanting them back on... you get the picture! All of it was fun, though!

We got home and fed Sam (and we ate) - Jake was still sleeping - the 2 1/2 hour dr visit wore him out! Got Sam in bed and FINALLY woke Jake up to feed him.

Then next morning, Sam woke up just before 7 am (he's still on daylight savings time), but I let him talk to himself in his crib for awhile (let's be honest, he was sitting in there calling Pop Pop and Mimi!). I went to the bathroom and was about to head into his room when we heard a thud. I ran to his room only to be met by Sam at the door - trotting on out! Yes, he crawled out of his crib - that was a first! He never broke stride. He landed on his feet and kept on trucking! YIKES!!!!

Right now, he is napping in his big boy bed (for the first time)! YIKES! I don't know which is scarier!!!!!????? All I do know is that my little boy is growing up!!!! =( BJ had to lay down with him and get him to sleep - I hope we still get a good nap out of him!? He will be sleeping in there for the first time tonight as well - praying that goes well too!!!!????

Oh, and another first... I nursed Jake for the first time since he was at Dekalb! It was a personal victory! He did really good for having had bottles for the last few weeks! When they weighed him yesterday, he weighed 7 lbs 13 oz - that means he gained MORE than a pound in a week!!!! WOW - he's gonna be a big boy, I am afraid!!!! That is so wonderful, though - he's five weeks old, and has finally gotten back over his birth weight!

This is our first weekend of just me and BJ and the boys (heeheehee) - that sounds so funny to say! It has been extremely eventful so far, and it has barely begun! We haven't even brushed our teeth or showered yet (the boys both have and are dressed and ready for the day, though!) - on our way to do that now! If it takes this long to get that far with BJ around, I guess I won't be getting ready for the day until after BJ gets home from work during the week!!!!!!!! =)

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Are-Plane Room...

Look at me back so quick!!!
I had forgotten just how much you can do with a little one on your hip... and how much more you can do while they sleep for MAYBE 30 minutes!!!! I have become the queen of multi-tasking again! Toddlers tend to take that 'luxury' away!!! Multi-tasking at its finest would have to be my trip to the bank the other day. Mama kept Jake at home, and, low and behold, it was feeding time before I could get back... SO, I lugged the "Bessie Pump" with me in the car, and hooked up driving back home!!! I had to stop at a red light and was praying that no one realized why my shirt was poking out so far!!!! You do what you have to do... especially when the child is eating every two hours - there's just no chance to miss those pumps!!!!! =)
Mama and Daddy went home yesterday... bittersweet - I LOVED them being here (it has been six weeks!), but I know they were glad to sleep in their own bed for once! They took Sam with them - bless their souls! BJ and I will get him back on Friday after Jake's cardiologist appt, and keep him for the weekend... trying out this "man-on-man coverage" thing. Then, Mama and Daddy say that they want him back on Sunday and will keep him until Thanksgiving... then I'll be on my own with "the boys!" That sounds so funny to say! I am thinking they may enjoy some PEACE and QUIET, and may not want Sam back!!!!!! =) Yeah, right - they're still typical grandparents and absolutely LOVE the kid!!!!
Jake is continually doing better - especially during the night. He eats and goes back to sleep within 15-30 minutes (there's usually at least one feeding where he refuses to go back to sleep that quickly!)!!!!
Sam has done well with Jake too. Although, when Daddy holds Jake and Sam sees, he gets really jealous - we have heard (but not acknowledged) "Pop MINE" - not an issue with anyone else, though! I had originally said that Sam would be young enough to not 'notice' or 'care' that Jake was here, but he is smarter than the average 19 month old! I'm curious A - how he'll do when he and Pop Pop are separated, and B - how he'll do when it's just me, him and Jake!? It could go either way!!!!
Taking care of the both of them absolutely terrifies me! I just know that Sam is going to need to eat at the same time and Jake is SCREAMING for his bottle too! I am hoping that Jake has gained weight and that I'll get the green light to nurse him... I think that will alleviate SOME of that anxiety!?
OH - and really cool news... we have BASICALLY finished Sam's big boy room - he LOVES it!!! It's airplanes (or "are-planes" as Sam calls them)... so cute... here's some pictures!
BJ painted the million coats of paint before Jake was born... Daddy ended up doing the border (I started 'helping' then Jake 'called' and I had to pump - by the time I got back, it was done! Such hard work!)
There's an airplane fan, and Mama monogrammed the curtains (that, when you ask Sam who made the curtains, he answers, "Bo" EVERY time!!! Not sure why except that he likes to give Mimi a hard time!?) Mama drew and pained the plane on the wall, and Daddy cut it out - it exactly matches the planes on his bed spread!!! We still have some small planes to hang from the ceiling, and we have pictures of Sam actually flying that we're going to blow up and frame for the walls... eventually!

And here's Jake's room for those who may not have seen it (it's the same as when Sam was in it!) Again, Mama did all the drawing and painting and Daddy cut it all out!
More random pictures...

I don't exactly remember WHY his overalls were gone (they are cute Clemson orange overalls), but this is the 'ham' in Sam coming out!!!
But we never lost sight of the fact that Clemson was playing football ("hot-ball") and WINNING!
Our littlest miracle (literally)!

Friday, November 09, 2007

Update on the Last Month...

It's been a doozie... that's the skinny version of our last month! A lot has happened - obviously... for details on Jake's health, visit his Care Page at:

http://www.carepages.com/ServeCarePage?cpn=LittleJakesHeart&seed=111089&ClusterNodeID=jb04&tlcx1=choa&tlcx2=2570862

First of all, let me say that Mama and Daddy have been here through all of this - right along side us every step of the way. Daddy, being the 'Rock Star' Pop Pop that he is, has been Sam's buddy, and Sam is even more attached now than ever. He wakes up from his naps and in the mornings whining for "Poooooop Pooooooop" (he doesn't say poop, for the record!). I can't even begin to express how amazing they have been. They moved into our house on Oct 1st, and haven't been home since - except for day trips to check the mail. They have brought Sam to the hospital pretty much everyday, and at least one of them has been there everyday too... I feel so bad for them having been displaced for so long, but do not know what we would have done without them! They will go home soon, but are going to take Sam with them for a few days. We'll get him over the weekend to see how we do with both kids, then they'll take him back until Thanksgiving! AMAZING - just amazing... that's what my parents are. If you ever wonder how much a parent should love their children, or what exactly a parent who says they love their children with all their hearts would do for them... just take notes from Mama and Daddy - they would literally do anything and drop anything to be with us and take care of us... they have certainly put those words into action! I love them SO VERY much!!!!!!!!!
Well, Jake was born on Thursday, October 11, 2007 at 4:10 in the morning. The night before, I decided egg plant was the dish of choice! If there were to be a next time, I would eat egg plant for LUNCH - not dinner!!!! I woke up at 1:00 AM with contractions (real ones, b/c I had had 'fake' ones for the two weeks prior!), woke BJ up at 1:30 - then woke Mama and Daddy up at 1:45. I had to shower, because I had an AWFUL cold, and had rubbed my chest with Vicks. BJ was timing my contractions, and they were 4-5 minutes apart. They say to head to the hospital when they're 5 minutes apart - regularly. However, I had been instructed to head to the hospital AS SOON as I felt the first twinge. We did! BJ ran over to Mama and Daddy and told them that as soon as I got out of the shower, we were leaving. We did... we left at 2:30 AM to head to Dekalb Medical (normally 30-45 minutes away), and arrived at 2:50 AM. Yes, 20 minutes - BJ flew, but my contractions had gotten to be 3-4 minutes apart! At one point, he stopped at a red light, and I was in the back telling him he didn't have to stop - he kindly informed me that he needed to stop because of those headlights coming towards us... in my opinion, he could have made it!!!!


We went to the check-in desk, and she told us to sit down and wait... WHAT? ARE YOU KIDDING? We waited in the lobby for an eternity (or 15 minutes to those NOT in labor), while BJ filled out some paperwork. He turned around and asked me a few questions - one of which was, "Is the baby coming now?" He thought it was funny they asked... I did not! They finally took me back to the "Assessment Room." - and they would only let BJ go with me, not Mama too... so, bless her heart, she had to wait alone in the lobby! (Daddy and Sam were on their way, but Daddy opted to get Sam up once he got us out the door - smart move!) OK, I'm not a doctor, but there was no need for 'assessment' - I could have told them, "Yes, I'm pregnant, yes, I'm in labor, and YES, the baby is COMING!!!!" Got an IV started - great; one step closer to the all-important epidural. As the nurse is asking more questions - most of which BJ already filled out on the paperwork earlier (do they not converse here?), I am BEGGING for my epidural - saying, "Please just go ahead and call the doctor to get it ordered!" She continues to type on the computer, and I say, "You know, I really feel an urge to push." She's like, "Oh, well, I guess I can go ahead and check you." Like that's not the order she's supposed to do it in... I was five centimeters already! I continue to tell her that it's getting more severe - and please get my epidural... then, my water broke! So, she decided (even though it wasn't the normal ORDER of how she is supposed to do things), to call the doctor on in.

20 minutes after arriving in the 'assessment room', the doctor came in and checked me - I was EIGHT cm at that point. He starts telling them to get me into a room (in an urgent tone) - the assessment room is NOT a labor and delivery room!? As we're wheeling into a room, BJ says, "Can I go get her mom now?" and the doctor is pulling on his stuff, telling me to push when I feel the urge. The only thought I had was, "But, wait, I haven't had my epidural... this hurts!" Mama and BJ come in just in time to see the head, and the doctor telling me to push. The first push, I didn't really grasp that there was in fact a head there, and that I was actually going to be doing this without an epidural. So, with the second push, my thought was, "Get this baby out in as few pushes as possible," and, "OUCH!" Three pushes total, and Jake was here... at 4:10 AM - just over an hour after arriving at the hospital! Good thing there was no traffic!!!!

I'm not going to lie - it hurt. Having had one kid naturally (with three pushes), and one with the epidural (that I had to push for 3 1/2 hours) - I can't say that I recommend one over the other - they both ended up hurting and were unpleasant! End result... both totally worth it! I will say that the recovery without the epidural was a little faster. Good thing for all that followed...

We were expecting Jake to be blue when he was born. He was not! He was a perfectly pink baby! Had we not known about his heart defects, then he would have gone to my hospital room with us, and would more-than-likely have made it home before we knew anything was wrong. The odds for his survival would be A LOT lower had this been the scenario. The major thing here is that we kept his VSD (hole in his heart) open. Once he was born, I held him briefly, as did BJ. Then, the NICU team went to work - they immediately got him on the prostaglandin, which keeps the VSD open, hence allowing the oxygenated blood to flow more freely through his body. He went to the NICU and stayed there for five days. During that time, we got to hold him, and I got to nurse him. And we did a lot of praying! We just wanted him to get to Children's so he could start getting better. There were no beds available in the CICU there. We talked with Lyndsey everyday - she is a nurse in the CICU at Children's. What a blessing she has been through this ordeal. God definitely put her in our lives and made us such close friends for this occasion. She has offered us love and encouragement as a friend, but also on a professional level, she has explained everything to us, and has been there through all of this! We just couldn't understand why God would want us to wait like this!

Here's our precious new baby boy... he is a little jaundice, huh?

I was discharged from the hospital on Saturday - they were nice enough to let us 'stay' in the room until 9 pm or so, but after that, we had nowhere to go. The coordinator nurse in the NICU had compassion on us - we were feeding Jake every 2-3 hours, and the Neonatologist said that he could only have breast milk since he was a heart baby (we knew through Lyndsey that this was not necessarily the case, but 'who were we to argue' that we needed to be close to Jake!? =). We lived too far away to be able to make the feedings work, so this lady arranged for us to be able to stay in an old room in the old part of the hospital (free of charge). It was not the nicest room, and anyone that found out we were staying there cautioned us to be sure to keep the deadbolt locked at all times, and not to go anywhere alone - or stay in the room alone. GREAT... We joked that we were in the bowels of Dekalb Medical. Quite the experience to say the least. We had our own shower, though, and BJ, sweet as he is, let me have the first shower. Once I let the water run long enough that it wasn't running orange, it took me FOREVER because it was barely a trickle. BJ gets in, and I hear this gush of water - he flipped a switch and made the water pressure much better... he could have mentioned that to me!!!!! Nonetheless, we were EXTREMELY grateful for the room - we DID NOT want to leave our baby!!!!!

Me feeding Jake - one of the times!!!!! He's burping...

Jake did fine for the first few days, but we could see that he was starting into congestive heart failure. Those five days at Dekalb were torture. Mainly because Jake was laying there - OK, for the most part, but not getting better. And, the last day he was there, he had really started declining. I can't even begin to say how much we cried in those five days. Saturday, when we were 'displaced' we literally boo-hooed - the fear of the unknown... and what little we did know finally got to us. Words just can't do justice to how defeated and depressed we felt. Seeing your little baby laying there - dying, actually - waiting for Children's to get an open bed, and not being able to do a thing about it was the most helpless I have ever felt in my entire life. It was completely in God's hands... all we could do was pray. One of the nurses told us that not too many years ago, if they saw a baby come in with Jake's condition that they all knew he wasn't going to make it... thank God for medical research and technology!

We had been told he would be moved by Saturday or Sunday... those days came and went. Then Monday was then the day - came and went. Finally, Tuesday, we got the call that the transport team would be there by noon. We were there for them to load Jake up and wheel him out of the room. THAT was emotional, because we knew he was on the road (literally) to help and recovery - but, again, there was that fear of the unknown, and we knew the surgery was still ahead of us...

Come to find out, Dr. Kirshbom, Jake's surgeon, was on vacation that week. He elected to come in and do Jake's surgery that Wednesday... reasons beyond what I can say at the moment - but, again, it was God's perfect timing that he made this work to do Jake's surgery - and that we stayed at Dekalb as long as we did. If Dr. Kirshbom had not come in, we would have gotten another surgeon (well-qualified and great surgeon), but Jake's defects were Dr. Kirshbom's specialty - and he was THE MAN that needed to do this surgery. We knew that, he knew that, and God knew that!

We got to Children's and did our check-in stuff, then went to see Jake. Doctors and nurses were everywhere - we already felt better. They weren't all about maintaining him - they were all about making him better. We learned that Jake would be in surgery the next day (Wednesday) by noon. That day, we stayed by Jake's bedside as much as they would let us. We finally left the CICU a little after midnight. We knew that we could only see him again for a short time that next morning before surgery. We got up and got ready and were back with him at 6 that morning. We were with him until they took him back to surgery... about an hour before they were to take him back, the respiratory team decided to go ahead and incubate him (put him on the breathing machine) because he wasn't breathing well enough on his own, and they would have to do it in the OR anyway. We knew then that Jake could not have waited any longer than he did for surgery. He was no longer capable of sustaining himself. Another testament of God's perfect timing!

We were able to walk with Jake to the OR doors - which was one floor up. We got on the elevator (me, BJ, Mama, Daddy, two anesthesiologists, and Jake's nurse), and we got about halfway up, and the elevator stops... a voice comes on that says, "We are experiencing MINOR technical difficulties." HUH???? My baby is laying there with a man BREATHING for him, and we're experiencing MINOR technical difficulties!!!!! Every one's eyes got as big as saucers, and no one said a word. Pretty soon, it started moving again, and everyone started breathing again - the dude did a great job not losing count of Jake's breath -Jake's the only one that kept breathing through that!

Watching them wheel my little boy into the OR was yet another emotional wrench. It was so hard watching him go back, and know that they were about to 'crack' his chest open and operate on his little heart for the next nine hours. We were emotional wrecks - again - and they took us to this waiting room where all of the day surgery people wait too... so, it was extremely crowded! We found a group of chairs, and headed that way. Before we even got to the chairs, this BIG lady approached us and asked if we were the Laterveer family. We said yes, and she said she was from financial and could she speak with us for a moment. I looked at her in disbelief and said, "Do we have to do this RIGHT now???" You know me - I'll accommodate anyone, but come on... Jake was to be in surgery for at least eight hours - we weren't going anywhere!!!! She said no, that she needed to talk to us then, and she wouldn't make us go down to her office and we could talk over in the corner... whatever - we weren't going anywhere with her! And all she wanted was to complain to BJ that his HR guy at work wouldn't verify information for her - he CAN'T!!!!!! We basically verified that we do in fact have insurance, and we're sorry that our SIX DAY OLD child doesn't have an insurance card yet - um, BJ hadn't been back to work to get anything filled out anyway... duh!!!! OH, and, newsflash - he doesn't have a social security number either!!!!! She was just too stinking lazy to come back and find us later - and at that, it's not like he was going to get out of surgery and we were going to take him on home either!!!! Geez, lady - use your brain here!

We received phone calls from the nurse in the OR every hour or so to report on Jake's progress - on the phones in the waiting room (which entailed us RUNNING to whichever phone was ringing b/c it was NEVER the one right next to us - if it was for another family, you had to holler the name until someone ambled on over to get it). I had to go pump every two or three hours, so I would leave the waiting room to go do that... I think that distracted me and gave me a purpose to be able to get through that day. BJ, however, didn't leave that waiting room except for a few minutes to eat lunch. We ordered pizza for dinner and ate it in the waiting room (that clearly had signs telling us not to eat or drink in there). Nine and a half hours later, Dr. Kirshbom came out and gave us the good report that Jake had done fine and the repair had gone well. What a relief we felt. When he was done talking to us, and was about to leave, he shook our hands... I grabbed him and hugged him - he had done so much above and beyond for us that I just didn't know how else to express our deepest gratitute to him (Lyndsey said she would have liked to see his face =)! When he left, BJ and I just grabbed each other and cried. Again. That was such a long day - I can't even explain how difficult of a day that was! Our friends and family that were in and out were a blessing and a wonderful distraction. Mama and Daddy were there the whole time. BJ's dad came shortly after surgery started and was there all day. Inny came and stayed as well. Bo and Jen came - then took Sam flying to get him out of the hospital (yes, Sam flew for the first time while my other child was having open heart surgery - I just got it all out of the way that day!), Cathy stopped by, Matt Piland and Bruce Hardy stopped by, Matt Beverly and Beth and Eli stopped by, Melissa came and stayed for a few hours - it was great to be surrounded by them and loved on through all of this! Lyndsey came by on her way into work... she was so concerned for Jake, and her emotion and love came pouring out when she came in. All of the love and support expressed through the Care Page - that day and everyday was amazing and humbling. Mark DeAngelo cracks me up!!! It was absolutely wonderful to feel all the love pouring in through everyone's words... I just can't put into words how warm inside that made us feel!
Bo and Sam off to fly the big plane while little brother was in surgery...
Sam literally flying - showing Uncle Bo how it's done!Uncle Bo had to have reinforcements for this venture, so Aunt Jen went to help wrangle the little one!

Once Dr. Kirshbom talked to us about Jake's surgery, we knew we had an hour before we could go see him. We were antsy, giddy, and relieved to know that the worst was over. Once we saw him - he looked awful. His chest was open with his heart exposed (through a tan piece of tape), and he had TONS of tubes and wires attached to him. He had 14-15 monitors on him, and 12 different medicines being pumped into him. For an adult, that's a lot, much less for a little six-pound baby - I still don't know how they found enough surface area to put all of that on him. All of that, and still there was such a feeling of relief - the surgery was over, and it was all about recovery and getting better now... we sat with him again until after midnight - just looking and praying... OHHHHHH did we pray! We knew Jake was in good hands - first of all, God was taking care of him, but Lyndsey was the charge nurse, and she had assigned Meredith to be Jake's nurse that night - we knew they were looking out for him with a very special eye. Have I mentioned how blessed we were to have Lyndsey there through all of this? She called the CICU and talked to Jake's nurse every shift to check on his progress... she even called while she and Matt were in San Francisco on vacation!!! She's AMAZING!!!

We finally left and went to our sleep room and crashed for the night. We had slept for a couple of hours, and there was a knock on the door (at about 3:30 AM). Lyndsey had sent one of the nurses to come get us. Jake had progressively gone downhill all night. He had come back from surgery with more bleeding around the heart than is normal. Meredith, Jake's nurse, noticed that his potassium had increased, and the on-call cardiologist ordered an echo. The echo showed an enormous blood clot had formed behind his heart. They immediately called Dr. Kirshbom to come back and perform emergency surgery to remove the clot. The clot was the size of his heart (a large strawberry). Lyndsey, being the charge nurse had to organize and arrange for everything and everyone to be where it/they needed to be. When we got there, a fellow (cardiologist-in-training) came out to brief us on what they knew (which was that they were performing emergency surgery to remove a clot), and that a chaplain had been called. Ummmm... that freaked us out - hospitals don't usually call chaplains unless you're dealing with death. That was scary. Later, we found out that this is standard for these types of procedures... to have someone else with you. Lyndsey came back to talk to us as well. In the midst of what we were dealing with, BJ and I both felt so bad for her. She was having to do her job, but go out and tell her friends that this was serious stuff. She also did not know the chaplain that was on-call, so she told us that she had also called Matt. Again, we felt bad that Matt had to get up at four in the morning, but once he was there, we were SO GLAD he was there. We prayed, but other than that, none of us knew what to say, so we all just sat and stared at each other and the floor... but it was so comforting to have him there. We weren't about to call our parents and wake them up just to sit there and worry and wait...

Everything went well with the emergency surgery, but it made us realize that just because surgery was over did not mean we were out of the woods. It was a bumpy ride, that's for sure. Jake's lungs had collected fluid, and he had to fight off a little bit of pnemonia. Daily, they were able to take him off meds, remove the breathing tube, chest tubes, IV's, etc. Some days we saw what felt like a lot of progress, other days, it felt like we got nowhere. He was in the hospital for two weeks after his surgery, so we were really asking a lot of our little guy - but he did really well, all things considered.

The first time he was held and ate after surgery, was 12 days after surgery. I was so upset with his nurse, because she grabbed him up, cradled him and fed him... then put him back! I was furious, because I thought BJ or I should have been the ones to hold him first. Giving her the benefit of the doubt, maybe she needed to see him eat and be sure he was breathing and swallowing correctly. I DID get to hold him right after all that, though - and he knows and loves his mommy best! As good as it felt to hold little Jake in the NICU at Dekalb - it felt a million times better to hold him after this long road of surgery and scares and ups and downs!

This is the first time I got to hold Jake since we were at Dekalb... the longest 14 days of my life! (He got so much blood during and after surgery - the jaundice is gone!)
And BJ...
12 days after surgery, we finally made it to the Step-Down Unit (CSU)... that's the final step before you get to go home. We thought we could finally relax and 'spend time with our new baby' once we got there... no such luck. You're very 'alone' there (i.e. there's not a nurse sitting beside you at all times), but there were CONSTANTLY people in and out... nurses/techs getting Jake's vitals, audiologists checking his hearing, homies teaching you how to use a feeding pump, speech therapists that help with his feeding, respiratory thereapists doing CPT's, nurses bringing bottles to feed him, lab techs drawing blood, radiology to get him for x-rays... you get the picture????? And it was almost busier at night! We go NO sleep hardly while we were there! I learned how to put a feeding tube in Jake's nose... not fun! He screamed, and the nurse wouldn't help me out! After 10 minutes of pushing and getting nowhere, we tried the other nostril... went in like butter! Luckily, that was the only time I ever had to do that! Jake pulled it out after we had been home a few days, and he's been eating just fine ever since - with the bottle!!!

One of the many things we had to get through to get home was a carseat test... to be sure Jake could with-stand the angle and not get agitated, hence lowering his blood-oxygen saturation... he had to stay there for an hour - he slept... lucky!

It's still such a great feeling to hold him! I don't mind the crying jags, or the feeding every three hours, or getting up every 1 1/2 to 2 hours at night or having to feed him then pump myself - it's a labor of love, and I am so thankful to have my baby to be able to do these things for. I won't lie, though, some sleep would be nice!!!! But, it gets better and easier - he's already eating more and sleeping just a touch more!
God is good. He has been by our side through the darkest and toughest days of our lives - and he has delivered us safely to the other side. God is good!

Now, Jake still can't be exposed to germs because, if he gets the slightest sniffle, fever, or anything, it could lead to pneumonia or something worse. His little defenses just aren't where they should be yet. And this is the worst time of year for sickness - especially RVT (a respiratory virus that Jake is at risk to catch). This means we're at home unless we have a dr. appointment! Bad for me, but TERRIBLE for Sam! I feel so bad for him - not only does he have to stay cooped up at home more, but he really can't be exposed to germs either, for fear of him bringing them back to Jake!!!! It's a vicious cycle!
We have done good so far at home - we have only called Lyndsey to come look at him once - he looked a little blue to us the day after we got home... more-than-likely, that was the switch from flourescent lighting to regular sunlight!? And a little bit of apprehension on our part!!!

There's the long version of our last month or so... hopefully I will be able to keep things updated better now - I have to do SOMETHING while I pump!!!

Here are some more pictures from the last month...

The weekend after Jake's surgery, Bo and Jen took Sam to an airshow... this plane was just Sam's size!
But he prefers the big ones!Bo's rental car was a minivan... I think this fits - kid and all!Sam loved the "punkeens" in the garden at the hospital!Sam didn't go trick-or-treating, but, of course he dressed up!!!! He didn't like the costume so much, but he absolutely LOVES Elmo!!!!!!

More to come later... this one is long enough!